Beefy shrew fingers
Angelo Percolo is to blame for it. After all, he threw away a Dixie cup in which his demented prune of a wife decided to store her wedding and engagement rings. Doing his husbandly duty, the 78 year-old threw the cup away and took out the garbage. After realizing the mistake, Angelo's wife berated the Korean War Veteran for his stupidity. Being of a more
Heroically and beyond probability, Percolo found the rings. One would expect ticker-tape parades and/or a commemorative blowjob for such a feat. But no, Percolo was greeted with a hero's welcome of "You smell like garbage." Thanks honey, here's your fucking ring that you threw away would be my response, but then, I'm not married.
As per the nature of the beasts, Mrs. Percolo placed blame solely on her husband's throat but took credit for the improbable find saying "It's a miracle I tell you, but I knew we would find them." Apparently she was there in spirit while her husband rooted around through rotten foodstuff, bloody tampons, used condoms, and poop - lots and lots of poop. I suspect she was actually at home upping the ante on her husband's life insurance policy.
The Percolo's were married during the Korean War at which time the poor serviceman and his lovely bride exchanged simple wedding bands. After success in business, Percolo bought her new bands 30 years ago. Such a gesture was met with these kind words from the wife after the recent incident: "He actually chose these, so they have more meaning for me and him." Yes, I'm sure the lustre and high carat number had nothing to do with the "meaning". How about the meaning behind marrying your sweetheart during his break from war? How about the memories of being young and in love despite the simplicity of your marriage badges?
Unable to let sleeping dogs lie (poor Mr. Percolo), the missus continued: "I don't know why he thought it was garbage. Now I'm going to put them away in a safe place every night." Your bedraggled, unused, lock trap snatch would probably suffice.
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6 comments:
Disclaimer: This is going to be a fairly long comment.
My cousins had their 60th wedding anniversary a month ago.
They met during WWII, in Paris. He was a nazi, a POW. She was a waitress in a cafe. They met, they loved, he was sent back to Germany, but promised to come back for her once the war was over.
He did.
They married and moved to America.
They rented out the community center in their retirement community for the celebration, hired a priest to renew their wedding vows.
We sat through the ceremony, through the speeches and toasts. He held her hand the entire time, yes, her old, chubby fingers adorned with massive wedding rings.
When it came time for the kiss, he leaned over, gently grabbed her jaw, and pecked her on the cheek. She did not return the affection.
You see, her mind had significantly deteriorated in the last few years. She no longer knew who she was, who her husband was, or what at all was going on around her. She no longer spoke, at least not coherently.
When the ceremony was over, they wheeled her back to the house they had purchased together. Living in a tiny desert town reserved for the elderly that wish to get away from the city life. Isolated and surrounded by the dying.
Is it noble?
Is it a horrible fate?
Is his behavior solely due to legal obligations?
Is he happy? Could he be happy?
Is his wife "evil" for not making provisions to take herself out of his care should such an event (of mental incapacity) arise?
Does his behavior make him a beta male, caring for a woman that can give him nothing in return, wasting his remaining years in service of a female?
Mrs. Percolo is seemingly healthy so its a different story. It's fine if men want to do chivalrous things for their wives; its just that the wife rarely realizes it for what it is. Outside observers might, but that does little to help the husband's cause.
I think my rambling went in a different direction than intended.
You took a news story and twisted it into a rollicking bout of misogyny, which may or may not be accurate to the wife's character, but since neither of us have met her, we don't know.
Her husband threw her rings away.
Rings that were a symbol of love, success, and partnership.
So he got them back.
That's not him bowing to his shrew wife, but him messing up and then cleaning up after himself.
The quotes the original article provided were made suddenly harping when they were surrounded with sexual bias.
We relieve tension with humor. If he came back, tired, sore, reeking of trash, but with the rings, and she laughed (disclaimer: not mockingly), hugged him, and then told him he smelled like garbage, so he showered and she made him a wonderful dinner while he did so... we don't know these things.
Every time I re-read this post and compare it to the original article, I wince. I normally enjoy your posts, but this seems so sensationalized and warped it's almost like watching a misogynistic FOX news show.
Horrible. Truly horrible. Searching through trash for rocks that don't do anything but sparkle, well come to think of it they probably sparkle more than his wife.
Poetry:
I appreciate your take on my post. I don't think I quoted or represented this news story out of context in the least bit. First, why put the rings in a cup if they are so valuable? I understand that perhaps she didn't want to leave them sitting around out in the open, but a cup? Then, if that cup gets thrown away, how is it his fault? Again, I understand the blame game on things like this. I often blame others for things that I indirectly caused; I realize that I'm being irrational and just venting though.
Also, the general tenor of the article and her quotes make her seem ungrateful and entitled. Her comments that "we" found it while it was "his" fault, while seemingly innocent, are much more treacherous than you think. The poor sap is damned either way.
Perhaps I'm projecting a tone onto Mrs. Percolo's voice; I'd have to see video of the interview. Perhaps she's making these jabs with a sweet, matronly smile on her face like my grandma or mother would. But I don't know that. I have to interpret her quotes on their face, by the words she's using and the general tone of the piece. The fact that she blames the husband, makes her stupidity his chore, diminishes the part of their marriage *pre* fancy wedding band, and continues to belittle him even after the fact is unsettling.
Also, it makes for an entertaining read.
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